37 week dr. appt update

we saw dr. connelly today for my 37 week appt. how is it possible that i am STILL almost 4cm dilated?? who else on earth goes weeks being almost 4cm dilated without going into labor?? well, she checked me and my cervix has not changed. i can't believe it. she stretched me a little to see if that would help things along so we just have to wait and see what happens. i am having contractions but they aren't consistant and they're not getting any stronger. i am having a little bit of bleeding but i think that's just because she did the stretching. if it gets heavier i will definitely go to the hospital. john has my bags all packed and ready to go. actually, our bags have been packed and ready for a long time. after all, we thought we were going to have this baby back in december! today i saw one of the nurses that took care of me when we were in L&D in december and she was shocked to see how far i've gotten in my pregnancy. she was the nurse that was rooting for me to have a leap year baby. at the time, i thought "oh, we'll NEVER make it to february" but look at us now. here it is almost march and i'm still pregnant. crazy.

oh, i gained another 3lbs. this week. that makes 10 lbs. for the month of february. not what i was going for but to be fair, i haven't really been watching my diet. i've been big on chocolate chip cookies lately. oh, they sound so good right now... the toll house ones, right out of the oven. mmmmmmmm..... back to the weight gain, my doctor says it's probably water weight. i sure hope so (but probably not considering the amount of cookies i've consumed). oh well. i'm not going to deny myself right now!

after the doctor's appt i went to the NST area and i was having contractions but not enough for them to send me to L&D. my fluid level looked good. they said that baby's head is WAAAY far down in my pelvis. no kidding, i could've told you that! :)

i'm sitting on a labor ball as i type this post. partly because it gives my pelvis a little bit of relief and partly because i've heard that it can help with getting labor started. so we'll see. one thing i've learned is that this baby is going to come when he's good and ready. well, mommy's ready when you are, baby. can't wait to meet you!

Suck it up!

my doctor was in the OR all day yesterday so i didn't hear from her. another woman from her office called me (i think she was a nurse or something) and asked me about the pain i am experiencing. she said that her daughter had the same thing when she was pregnant and she knows it is extremely painful and she feels really bad for me but basically, there's nothing that can be done. my doctor may give me some type of pain reliever when i see her on friday but other than that, i need to just suck it up (these are my words, not hers). she tried making me feel better by saying that the birth should be very close and this is just my body's way of preparing for it.

i purchased one of the belly support belts and i guess it's helping a little bit. i'm staying off my feet and trying to make only calculated, careful movements to avoid any pain. i'm trying to change my frame of mind from "poor me/this sucks/why is this happening/etc." to something more positive. i'm not always successful at it, especially when i'm crying and in pain, but it's like everything else we've gone through... this is my life and i'm thankful for it. baby bennett will be here soon and he will be my reward for going through all of this.

... john has the flu. my poor babe. he's doing everything he can to not get me sick. he hasn't kissed me for 3 days. i don't like that. he never gets sick. i'm usually the one who catches every cold out there but he usually avoids it. this flu has him feeling pretty miserable. he even has a high temperature. i hope he gets better soon, especially if the baby decides to come. i need him to get better before baby arrives. he's doing everything he can to get over this but unfortunately, there's not much that can be done other than rest, fluids, and that type of stuff. hopefully he'll be better soon.

**UPDATE @ 9am**

dr. connelly just called... she said i'm probably correct in my self diagnosis and she knows how painful it can be. she offered to give me some tylenol with codine to help me sleep if i only take it when i absolutely need it but i told her that i'd rather not. i asked her about stripping my membranes and she said that since i'm already so far dilated that it probably wouldn't help but that maybe she could do some "stretching" at my appt tomorrow to see if that helps things along. i asked her about inducing and she doesn't want to induce me until the 39th week. but she doesn't think that i'll get that far anyway. well, no one thought we'd get as far as we have so who knows how long this could go on!? i have to just suck it up, i guess.....

Self Diagnosis

i am in so much pain that i cannot sleep. excruciating pain - and i don't use that word lightly. after a quick internet search, i think i may have found out what is going on with my pelvis. the symptoms are exactly what i have been feeling for the last several days. i think i have Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) and more specifically, Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD). according to what i've found, SPD affects 1 in 35 pregnant women. it occurs when the pelvic ligaments lengthen to prepare for childbirth but they lengthen too much, causing a gap between the pelvic bones, resulting in pelvic instability or misalignment. the instability/misalignment part is what is causing so much pain. some of the symptoms include: symphysis pubis pain that is extremely tender to the touch, swelling, difficulty lifting leg, unable to transfer weight through pelvis and legs, restriction of hip movement, waddle or shuffle when walking, and pain when pulling legs apart. i have all of these symptoms to a very strong degree. supposedly, most pregnant women that suffer from PGP/SPD show improvement within days after delivery. oh please, let that day be soon. i can't handle this much longer. i'm going to call my doctor as soon as her office opens. i don't know if she'll be able to do anything for me but i need to at least tell her what is going on. this really sucks.

NST update / Pelvic torture

i just got back from my NST and everything went well. i had some contractions last night but only a couple while i was on the monitor so nothing to worry about there. they didn't check my fluid level today. i guess they'll check it on friday at my next appt.

i have been in horrible pain since saturday. my hips/pelvis hurt so bad that i could cry every time i stand, walk or roll over. if i'm just sitting or laying down it's fine but the second i have to move i feel like i am being tortured. i am moving very slowly these days because every step kills my pelvis. i asked the nurse today what is going on with me and she said it's probably that the baby has moved further down into my pelvis and that my ligaments are loosening and my hips are spreading to prepare for the birth. oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. i had a little crying fit last night because i was in so much pain. i am so ready for baby to be born now. i'm going to see if my doctor will do something to help me (strip my membranes, etc.) when i see her on friday. if i can even last that long.

seems so strange that i am so ready for baby to come now since we have spent the last 3 months doing everything possible to keep baby inside me. tomorrow will be 37 weeks!! can you believe it?? baby will be considered full term TOMORROW! still 3 weeks away from my due date but anything over 37 weeks is considered full term. i am FLOORED that we have gotten to full term. my jaw is on the floor and i am speechless. our prayers have been answered over and over again with this pregnancy. thank God!

Baby Shower!

yesterday was my baby shower. yes, i actually made it to my own baby shower! i was convinced that i would have to miss it because i'd be in labor or stuck in the hospital or something. but i made it with baby still inside me! yay! we had it at my parents' house and i had a great time. it was great seeing everyone. the food was yummy (thanks taco lady!) and the company was even better. we got so many wonderful gifts that it took 2 carloads to bring them all home. here are just a few pictures from the party. mom, shannon and kayla -- thank you so much for throwing me this shower! and thanks so much to all of my great, great friends for coming and supporting us in this pregnancy. i love you all.

36 week dr. appt update

we just got back from our 36 week doctor's appt. dr. connelly checked my cervix and it hasn't changed since last week. i've gained another 3 lbs. (that's 7 lbs. in 2 weeks! yikes!) but hopefully it's just water weight. she told me i should probably be more careful with my diet. not really what i wanted to hear but she's probably right. after the appt i had my NST and i was having a few contractions but not too many. my fluid levels looked good. i know i have said this several times before but i honestly can't believe that we've made it this far. i never thought we'd make it to 36 weeks.

looking back at everything that has led up to this point is almost too hard to believe. not just the complicated pregnancy but also everything that had to happen in order for me to get pregnant. i was a complete wreck during the 2 years it took us to conceive. especially during the second year when i was doing infertility treatments. the medications made me feel like i was going through menopause. i had major mood swings and hot flashes. not to mention i was completely emotional and could cry (and often would) at the drop of a hat. i was going to my infertility appts about 4 times a month or more. that alone was hard to do because it was the last place i wanted to go. there were pregnant moms and/or brand new babies sitting next to me in the waiting room every time. my heart would ache every time i saw a pregnant belly and believe me, they were everywhere. i often wonder when i'm out now if my pregnant belly is hurting someone's feelings who is struggling with infertility. i sometimes want to hide it so it doesn't hurt anyone. on one hand, i'm so proud of it and want to show it off to the world. on the other, i never want to be the cause of someone's heartache that is struggling with infertility. as a woman, i believe that it is one of the hardest things to go through in life and no one can truly understand what it is like unless you've been there.

i prayed every day for a baby. i don't know why God chose me to be blessed with this miracle inside me but i am so thankful that He did. i will do my best every day to make sure i am everything i need to be and more for my son.

36 week belly pics

yes, i know. you can totally see my bra in the picture below. oh well. i wasn't about to change my clothes!
woo-hoo! we made it to 36 weeks! baby and i sure are GROWING! :)

i have to give a very well deserved CONGRATULATIONS to my blogger buddy, Neenie, for delivering her baby boy yesterday! she and i have had very similar stories and have followed eachother's progress for months. she did such a good job incubating her little one! 10 weeks on hospital bedrest... BRUTAL! but totally worth it. congratulations, Neenie. you are awesome.