Caught!

Caleb loves to climb. He can get on top of anything. The coffee table is one of his favorites, even though he knows it's a "no". He pulls the drawer out and uses it as a step to climb onto the table. So smart! I snapped a picture before telling him to get down. It's too cute.

He likes putting things into the kitchen sink - refrigerator magnets especially. He's pretty tall so he just gets on his tip toes and plops whatever it is into the sink. Today he put his sippy cup in the sink. I guess he thought it was ready to be washed! I wonder... when he's older will he be so willing to put his dirty dishes in the sink?? :)

Discipline and Words

I've had to put Caleb in the "time out" corner three times today. He knows not to chuck the hard wooden puzzle pieces at me or the dog but today it was too hard for him to resist. I sat him in the corner for one minute each time and he cried his little eyes out, saying "mama" the whole time. It's so hard for me to listen to him be so sad. But very necessary. I explained to him why we don't throw the puzzle pieces but that it's okay to throw the ball. After the third time in the corner he understood. He is so smart. It amazes me what he understands. I can say almost anything and he knows what I'm saying. His vocabulary is really good too. His new word is "up" and he uses it appropriately most of the time but sometimes he says "up" when he really means "down".

He says the following words:
mama
dada
dog (duhg)
woof
cat (daaaat)
duck (duhh)
quack
ball
please (ease)
sit
bath (baaaa)
juice (he says it perfectly!)
yes (dah, with a nod)
no
shoes (shooos)
banana (bana or baaaaaaaaa)
fish (ish)
wow!
uh-oh
up
down (don)

He signs the words "more", "please", "milk" and "all done". Teaching him sign language has been soooo helpful for him and for me. He is able to tell me when he's hungry (which is all the time!) and it cuts back so much on the frustration for both of us. It was easy to teach him since he'll do anything for food. It's so cute when he says/signs "please". How could I say no to such good manners? :)

HOPE SUCKS

i don't want to sound whiny or jealous but i'm feeling frustrated. i hold back a lot of my real feelings on this blog because i know that a lot of people that know me in real life read it so i tend to edit my feelings sometimes. but today i feel like i need to vent (admittedly, this post is edited to some degree). why does it seem that every other woman in the world (of course i know this isn't true but it feels like it today) can decide to get pregnant and then in 1-3 months she ends up being exactly that. i am surrounded by pregnant women. today i found out that 2 more girls i know are pregnant. i talked to one of them about 2 months ago about starting the "trying" process. we both said that we were ready to try for #2 and wished each other the best. of course i meant it when i wished her success in trying to conceive. i still mean it. i am truly happy for her. she is a great girl and a wonderful mommy and she deserves to be pregnant with the baby she is carrying. but why was she successful and i'm not? i got my period this week. i had the slightest bit of hope that it wouldn't come. i know better than to hope. HOPE SUCKS SOMETIMES. i have no expections that i will be able to get pregnant on my own but that damn HOPE is still able to creep up on me. i feel GUILTY for even being disappointed in my inability to conceive because i WAS able to get pregnant and i have the most wonderful baby in the world. i love him so so so very much and i am so so so so grateful that i get to be his mommy. i don't ever want him to feel like he isn't enough. HE IS ENOUGH. but i've always wanted 2 kids and i just wish it was easy for me like it is for everyone else. easy to get pregnant and have a normal pregnancy like everyone else. my stupid body and my stupid uterus and my stupid everything. i hate being whiny like this and feeling this way. i have no right to feel this way. i have a great life. a husband that loves me dearly, a son that is a dream come true, a nice place to lay my head at night, food in my belly... i have the life i always wanted (okay, i could use some extra $$ in the bank account but that's another story). so why is this so hard on me? why do i feel like less of a woman when my friends discuss their perfect birth stories and perfect pregnancies? why do i allow that HOPE to creep into my head when I KNOW BETTER! didn't i learn from last time? apparently not. stupid.

sigh. all i want to do these days (when i'm not playing with Caleb) is read my new addiction... the twilight series books. who would have ever thought that i would be so into teen books about vampires? dude, i'm hooked. they are seriously addicting.

Mother's Day picture

a couple days late, but here is a picture from mother's day. we went to my parents' house for a BBQ and then to my in-laws' for dinner. that's how we celebrate most holidays... by EATING! :)

i've had a sinus cold for a few days. my head is going to pop off from all of the pressure. no, really, it's getting better. thank goodness.

Just stuff

**updated: i figured out how to get the picture off my phone, enjoy! i have nothing specific to write about but i felt like doing a quick post before leaving to go to stroller strides. Caleb has had a cold since sunday but he's getting better. i wonder if this cold is going to cause him to have another ear infection. {sigh} he's pulling at his ears but he does that even when he doesn't have an ear infection.
summer is creeping up on us fast. this year Caleb will be able to enjoy the water more. i'm excited and nervous about it because he obviously doesn't know how to swim yet. a friend of mine is taking her baby to the baby survival swim classes. i would like to do that too but it costs an arm and a leg and right now we don't even have a pinky finger to spend.
Caleb loves books. we read books all day long. he brings me book after book after book to read to him. i have so many of them memorized. check out this cute picture of him in his carseat fast asleep while"reading" his book (the book is upside down). now that's a total bookworm.
as i'm typing this Caleb is watching ses.ame.street. he loves elmo. Nema bought him an elmo.live and Caleb carries him around by his eyeballs. :)
ok, gotta go get ready to leave now. see ya soon! :)

Feelings

today caleb and i went to a baby shower at my old work. a former co-worker of mine is having a baby and i was thrilled to show up for the shower. she's had a rough time over the past year-and-a-half and is due to have a baby girl in july. as i watched her open each gift while unable to hold back her tears, i held back tears of my own. i felt like i knew what she was feeling at that moment. the tears of happiness and joy that overwhelm you because after going to dozens of baby showers over the years, you never thought you'd have one of your own. and now it's happening and all of your emotions just take over and you can't do anything but cry. tears of joy and disbelief because God is giving you everything you've ever wanted. even after going through all of the trials you ask yourself, "how did i get so lucky?". i look at Caleb today and i am reminded of how far we've come. i will never take a single day for granted when i am lucky enough to have the greatest blessing standing right in front of me. i love him so much..... and you know what? he loves me too.