It's been a long time...

it has been a long time since i've blogged. i miss it and i feel like i have so much to say yet nothing to say at all. i have a ton of pictures on my camera that i need to upload but still haven't done it. i have the summer off from school so i will have more time to blog now. eventually i will put them on here and pretend that i posted them on time so look for back-dated posts sometime in the future....

i got an A in my microbiology class! yay. i worked hard for that A. i still have to take anatomy & physiology (fall 2010 and spring 2011) and then i can apply for the nursing program. sigh. i think i have a good chance of getting in but it's a really competitive program so it might take me a while to get accepted. i'm HOPING (darn that hope) that it will be put on hold because i'll get pregnant but you know how that goes............. sigh. not that i don't want to become a nurse, because i totally do and i think i would love it but i want another baby and we've been trying for a year and a half and that's no fun. i went to the doctor last month. he sees nothing wrong with me and no obvious reason why i'm not getting pregnant. he wants john to get tested again and i have the stupid cup for him but i just can't seem to want to have him get tested. the fertility stuff is so stressful. even thinking about going back for treatments is stressful. he was fine last time, i'm sure he's fine again. it's just a timing thing for us, i think. or maybe we're not supposed to have another baby or maybe i need to stop trying or pfffffffffftttttttt. i don't know. i'm just sooo soooo soooooooo sooooo thankful and happy that i get to be caleb's mommy and i don't want to take one second with him for granted. my prayers for him were answered and i am forever grateful for that. i love love love being his mom.

caleb is amazing. he is so smart! and so loving and funny and full of energy and i have a ton of stories that i can't think of right now because the dryer buzzer just went off and i have to get to my laundry. lol. (look for some stories in the future back-dated posts i was talking about earlier). he took himself to the potty today and went poop all by himself (he even tried to wipe!). he was so proud. he is a crazy, silly, little BOY now, no trace of baby left at all. i love him so much. i am so so so blessed to be his mommy.