5 months old!

can you believe it? my baby is 5 months old!! how did he get to be 5 months old already?? he's rolling over like a pro now and soon he'll be crawling, then walking, and before i know it he'll be driving a car and moving away to go to college! ok, i'm being a bit dramatic but seriously, where did my little baby go? he's a big boy now!

this picture was taken yesterday at story time. he was supposed to be eating at the time but he has so much fun listening to and watching everything that's going on that he just can't be bothered with something like eating. he was doing everything he could to get out from under the hooter hider. as you can see, he won the battle and ate later when he was good and ready to. you can't blame him though. after all, it was storytime not eating-time!

so.... i haven't had a period since early june. no, i'm not pregnant. john insisted that i take a test and it was negative. i KNEW i wasn't pregnant. a lot of women don't get their period when they are nursing and besides that, i'm on the mini-pill. i didn't even get my period after caleb was born UNTIL i started on the pill and it was really light so i just figured that i'm one of those women that don't get their period while nursing. but it is still weird to not have one. even though i knew i wasn't pregnant i was a teeny bit sad not to see a line show up on the pregnancy test. in my head i know that it's too soon to have another baby. but i would love to have a daughter or another little boy some day. if the test had been positive, i would have been very happy and excited but extremely terrified that i would have to be on bedrest again/wouldn't be able to take care of caleb/not be able to carry the baby to term/lose the baby/etc./etc./etc.... but all that aside, i would love it if i could be one of those women who get pregnant without trying and have a normal pregnancy. i know that will never be me though. one day we'll have a little brother or sister for caleb. how we go about getting that to happen is the big question. i don't think i'd ever do infertility treatments again. we're definitely open to the possibility of adoption. john doesn't want me to ever get pregnant again since the last time was so hard on both of us. he said that when they wheeled me away to have the emergency c-section, he thought he was going to lose both me and caleb and that it was the scariest moment of his life. so i can understand why he feels that way. we decided that we won't make any decisions about it until caleb is a year old. maybe at that point we'll start trying to get pregnant again or start the adoption process or maybe we'll have a different plan altogether. for now, i am so blessed to be caleb's mommy and i'm happier now than i've ever been in my whole life. he is amazing and i thank God for him every day.