Suck it up!

my doctor was in the OR all day yesterday so i didn't hear from her. another woman from her office called me (i think she was a nurse or something) and asked me about the pain i am experiencing. she said that her daughter had the same thing when she was pregnant and she knows it is extremely painful and she feels really bad for me but basically, there's nothing that can be done. my doctor may give me some type of pain reliever when i see her on friday but other than that, i need to just suck it up (these are my words, not hers). she tried making me feel better by saying that the birth should be very close and this is just my body's way of preparing for it.

i purchased one of the belly support belts and i guess it's helping a little bit. i'm staying off my feet and trying to make only calculated, careful movements to avoid any pain. i'm trying to change my frame of mind from "poor me/this sucks/why is this happening/etc." to something more positive. i'm not always successful at it, especially when i'm crying and in pain, but it's like everything else we've gone through... this is my life and i'm thankful for it. baby bennett will be here soon and he will be my reward for going through all of this.

... john has the flu. my poor babe. he's doing everything he can to not get me sick. he hasn't kissed me for 3 days. i don't like that. he never gets sick. i'm usually the one who catches every cold out there but he usually avoids it. this flu has him feeling pretty miserable. he even has a high temperature. i hope he gets better soon, especially if the baby decides to come. i need him to get better before baby arrives. he's doing everything he can to get over this but unfortunately, there's not much that can be done other than rest, fluids, and that type of stuff. hopefully he'll be better soon.

**UPDATE @ 9am**

dr. connelly just called... she said i'm probably correct in my self diagnosis and she knows how painful it can be. she offered to give me some tylenol with codine to help me sleep if i only take it when i absolutely need it but i told her that i'd rather not. i asked her about stripping my membranes and she said that since i'm already so far dilated that it probably wouldn't help but that maybe she could do some "stretching" at my appt tomorrow to see if that helps things along. i asked her about inducing and she doesn't want to induce me until the 39th week. but she doesn't think that i'll get that far anyway. well, no one thought we'd get as far as we have so who knows how long this could go on!? i have to just suck it up, i guess.....