we just got back from our 36 week doctor's appt. dr. connelly checked my cervix and it hasn't changed since last week. i've gained another 3 lbs. (that's 7 lbs. in 2 weeks! yikes!) but hopefully it's just water weight. she told me i should probably be more careful with my diet. not really what i wanted to hear but she's probably right. after the appt i had my NST and i was having a few contractions but not too many. my fluid levels looked good. i know i have said this several times before but i honestly can't believe that we've made it this far. i never thought we'd make it to 36 weeks.
looking back at everything that has led up to this point is almost too hard to believe. not just the complicated pregnancy but also everything that had to happen in order for me to get pregnant. i was a complete wreck during the 2 years it took us to conceive. especially during the second year when i was doing infertility treatments. the medications made me feel like i was going through menopause. i had major mood swings and hot flashes. not to mention i was completely emotional and could cry (and often would) at the drop of a hat. i was going to my infertility appts about 4 times a month or more. that alone was hard to do because it was the last place i wanted to go. there were pregnant moms and/or brand new babies sitting next to me in the waiting room every time. my heart would ache every time i saw a pregnant belly and believe me, they were everywhere. i often wonder when i'm out now if my pregnant belly is hurting someone's feelings who is struggling with infertility. i sometimes want to hide it so it doesn't hurt anyone. on one hand, i'm so proud of it and want to show it off to the world. on the other, i never want to be the cause of someone's heartache that is struggling with infertility. as a woman, i believe that it is one of the hardest things to go through in life and no one can truly understand what it is like unless you've been there.
i prayed every day for a baby. i don't know why God chose me to be blessed with this miracle inside me but i am so thankful that He did. i will do my best every day to make sure i am everything i need to be and more for my son.
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2 comments:
Spoken like a GREAT mom! Hopefully we'll see you tomorrow sweetie. Love ya! Brix
you are such a great inspiration for all those that think they will never have a baby. You are going to be a great mom and I truly believe that your little guy is a gift from God. I can tell you that I thank God daily for Connor and know how blessed I am that he chose me to have a healthy beautiful baby. I am so happy for you and look forward to seeing that belly tomorrow.
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